Archive for February, 2013

My Dad Could Totally Beat Up Your Dad

Posted: February 17, 2013 in General

When I was young my parents divorced.  Afterwards, my brother and I lived with our mom full-time, and visited our dad every other weekend.  In the years right after the divorce, my dad had a bit of a wild streak; spent some time partying, didn’t have much by long-term girlfriends (except for one, I think–but my memory of back then is likely a bit screwy.  Anyway, this separation from my dad had an obvious effect on our relationship–not necessarily a negative one, but an effect nonetheless.  On the bright side, and as I’ve alluded to in past posts, I was able to develop a great relationship with my mom.  And it wasn’t until she passed away that I really started to get to know my dad (again, or for the first time I’m not sure), at least in part because I moved in with him.

Then time went on–college, marriage and moving out, more college.  Eventually Zoe was born and we bought a house…and I suddenly had responsibilities for the maintenance of that house.  Problem is, like I was massively unprepared for parenthood (like all new parents, I suppose), I was also massively unprepared for homeownership.

I do not want to reduce my dad as a person to “they guy who helps me fix shit in my house.”  He is much, much more than that–but he has without fail bailed me out of virtually every home improvement project, big or small, that I’ve undertaken in the last 5 years.  And I think that tells you everything about him…he is willing to sacrifice an afternoon, or a day, or several consecutive nights in a week to help out his family.   He’ll buy lunch, or drive all over the city of find the right part, and every time will stay until the job is done.

Something you might know about me–I like being the guy who others ask for help.  I like giving advice, and knowing all the right answers.  But there are a lot of answers I don’t have yet (or more specifically, that my dad hasn’t taught me yet).  And so the flip side of that is, I HATE being the one in need.  I hate feeling like someone else has to sacrifice for my comfort, or benefit, or whatever.

This didn’t need to be long–but I do want to make the point that my dad is a really, really, really great guy.  In spite of what happened to my dad in the first 10 years in my life, I recognize that we all have a past.  And I pray that one day I’ll be able to give to my kids the way my dad has given to me.

 I love you dad.


Be well and stay tuned.