Recently I changed employers and landed a new opportunity with a company that I’m very excited to grow with. It wasn’t on a whim that I decided to do so, rather, through an arduous and contemplative couple of months that brought me to the decision to finally separate with my employer at the time.
Obviously the specifics here are going to be somewhat limited, at least in part due to my employment agreement and the terms by which I need to conduct myself professionally over the next couple of years. The other, dare I say LARGER, component to the lack of specifics comes from a point of respect and maturity: I have no desire whatsoever to speak negatively about my former employer.
For some time now, I’ve insisted that the fit between employer and employee needs to be a good one in order for both parties to mutually benefit. On multiple occasions I have advised friends and family that without this, the compensation, benefits, and even relationships with others at that company would not be enough to make up for the lack of fit, and eventually, the same end would come.
This was the situation I found myself in within the last 6 months. The end result of that (again, specifics intentionally omitted) is that I decided to end my employment with that organization and pursue another opportunity. I say “opportunity,” not “opportunities,” because at the point that my employment ended, I was ready to accept an offer with a different company. But that’s not what this is about.
This is about the fallout from making that decision. Sure, I had to make choices for myself and my family, and all of those issues were considered and discussed in painstaking detail with those that are directly impacted by my income. There were even a couple of people outside of that group that I consulted with, just to keep my own sanity as the job search went on.
But there was some unintended backfire that I didn’t forsee. A couple of weeks prior to announcing my exit, I had a brief conversation with a coworker about how exited employees were perceived within the organization. I asked the question, “would you still keep in touch with a person who left voluntarily?” I of course understand, if someone is let go or forcibly removed from the organization, one would be less inclined to contact that person for fear of suspicion by your employer should they learn of the relationship (although the notion is still somewhat ridiculous, I can at least understand the point of view). My coworkers response, although vague, seemed to be an affirmative one. Admittedly I was fishing, and the motivation behind my inquiry was misleading in that sense. But I maintain that there really shouldn’t be any apprehension should a former coworker of mine decide to reach out to me and stay in touch. The reality is this: I forged relationships with all of those people with whom I worked, and a good handful of them I’d consider to be friends outside of work.
Unfortunately, it seems that small businesses today are growing more and more weary of these kinds of relationships, especially if those employees who end up leaving are integral in some way to their operations (and I don’t mean that I was, rather that those who are still working there probably are). But is that crazy? Maybe…but not nearly as crazy as someone who thinks that a decision I made to leave was in any way personal or an attack on a relationship.
For any coworker, past or present, who decides that it is better for them to leave their current employer because of any number of reasons (none of which, for the record, I have any basis for judging one way or the other), I will celebrate in their new opportunities and direction, and congratulate them for making a decision to make their own lives better. Would I be sad? Sure! But never offended, and never caught up in my own world so much that my response might be seen as selfish.
So, this is an open invite and an apology. I will no doubt miss all of my previous coworkers…even if we keep in touch, we will not see each other every day, and in that sense things have become a bit more distant. And like I told my employer at the time of announcing my separation, my only regret, albeit a small one, is that any decision that I’ve made might have some negative impact on someone else’s workload, and as such, has made their life more difficult. I get it—and I’ve been on the receiving end of it as well.
I think that my new company will afford me and my family great opportunity down the road. I would love for those who aren’t sharing office space with me to be in the loop on what that might look like—but I’m not interested in forcing something inorganic. As much as I have to do “me,” you also have to do you…so do that. Do everything you can to better your situation, make your life great, and let me know if you ever want to talk. I’m here…you know how to get a hold of me.
If this wasn’t written directly to you—and you’ll know if it is—I thank you for taking the time to continue to support my endeavors. Be well, and stay tuned.
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